The Dreaded “What Ifs”

Pssst! Hey you.  Yeah, you.  Wanna know a secret?

Life is all about focus.  It’s that simple.

And that complicated.  (Sorry)

What we get in life depends on what we focus on.

In the Mortality Manifesto, I wrote “because fear is based on an imagined future, my focus on the present makes me fearless“.  Now I need to confess something – I wrote that particular line as a reminder to myself to keep my head out of the future.  You see, growing up I was always a very logical, auditory, left-brained kid, and for the most part, those characteristics served me well.  I always remember my father telling me to “think things through”.

The concept of “thinking things through” is a great approach to life when you’re 8 years old.  But it becomes much more problematic when you get older, simply because the decisions you need to make are much bigger and you have the mental capacity to project much farther into the future.  Our logical, “action / reaction” thinking leads us to try to control for every possible outcome and every possible variable.  And this is where you can fall victim to the dreaded “what ifs”.

There is no way that we can control for every possible variable and every possible outcome. Enter: FEAR.

“What if I make the wrong choice?”
“What if I say the wrong thing?”
“What if…?”
“What if…?”
“What if…?”

Of course, the reason that we ask ourselves these questions is that we’re hoping to find “the right” answer.  Well, the fact is that we won’t always get the right answer, which is where fear begins to show up.  And I can absolutely guarantee you that:

fear + decision-making = clouded judgement

So my prescription for dealing with the dreaded “what ifs” is to stay out of the future and remain focused on the present.  And the best way to do that is to connect with your heart and follow its lead.

“What if you tried that approach?  What if it worked?”