Inability To Commit – for some, it’s a belief that once you write something down, it’s written in stone and you you can’t deviate from it. For others, it’s a belief that the second you make a commitment to one thing, something better/easier will come along. Either way, trying to stay on the fence will keep you feeling ungrounded and unfulfilled.
How do you define success?
How do you define happiness?
If you haven’t defined success and happiness, how do you expect to achieve them?
I know that in my own life, I would have never written my first book if I hadn’t clearly defined what success meant to me. Many people go for years (or worse still – their entire lives) with the vague idea that they could or should write a book. The first step in becoming an author is to define whether you’re writing an ebook, paperback or hardcover and decide whether you’re going to self-publish or go through a publisher. Once you’ve defined your terms for being a successful author, you can get to work. (By the way – If one of your goals is to become a successful author, be sure to check out my online course to help get you on your way.)
I think there can be many reasons that people don’t clearly define what abstract concepts like ‘success’, ‘happiness’ and even ‘love’ mean to them.
Fear of Failure – if you never enter the race, you can never lose, right? But stop and ask yourself: Do you really want to live your life on the sidelines?
Conflicting Values – just as some suffer from fear of failure, others suffer from fear of success. If you were raised to believe that ‘only greedy people succeed’ or that ‘the only way to succeed is to do it on the backs of others’, you may be prone to self-sabotage due to values that conflict with your desire for success. Listen closely to your self-talk to see if you detect any indication of value conflicts that could keep you from succeeding.
Feeling Unworthy – Have you ever thought: “Who am I to expect success?” My answer to that is: “Who are you not to?” I love the following quote from Marianne Williamson: “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.“
– Take some time to reflect on what you want from your life. Don’t be afraid to think big and dream big. (The online Dreamstorming course can help with this.)
– Know that you are worthy and that you are worth it.
– You owe it to yourself to make the most of every day you’re alive. If you need help reinforcing this concept – start with the Mortality Manifesto Pledge
– And if you have difficulty committing, remember that concepts such as success, happiness and love are ongoing and evolving processes, not simply a finish line to be crossed.
Defining success is the first step to having it!