Decisions, Decisions

Posted on December 9, 2009 | 0 comments

When I talk to people about the idea of choosing the life they want, generally they get very excited!  Who wouldn’t want to choose the life they want?  Often though, that enthusiasm wears off when they realize that it isn’t as simple as rubbing a lamp and making three wishes.

photo by roboppy

If you’re one of those people who gets decision paralysis at the ice cream counter, then the idea of making choices about something as big as “your life” can seem overwhelming.  Here’s a short guide to help move you out of paralysis and into powerful decision-making.

Use the power of contrast
Some people have a hard time deciding what they want, but find it very easy to articulate what they don’t want.  This can be a fine starting point.  Take a look at the things you have in your life but don’t want, and start choosing to move in the opposite direction.  If you like your job, but don’t find it fulfilling, then start looking for something in your life to give you that sense of fulfillment.  If the job is fulfilling, but doesn’t pay enough, then start looking for an opportunity to earn more money.  The key with this strategy is to not get stuck on the negatives, but only look at them long enough to decide what the contrasting experience would be.

More please!
Mark Twain reportedly once said: “I don’t know much about art, but I know what I like” and this is a great philosophy to adopt in life.  We don’t need to be able to completely and eloquently articulate what it is that we’re looking for, but when you find “it” – get more of it!  Take a few moments are reflect on all of the things in your life that you love.  The things that you appreciate. The things that really mean something to you. Now look a little deeper  – look beyond the “things” and look at the feelings that those things evoke in you.  THAT’S what we want.  We want the feelings!  Your job is to find “things” that give you more of those feelings.

Experiment
If we face each decision and choice with a sense of “life and death” urgency, then it will be virtually impossible to make a choice.  My suggestion is to try experimenting with things to see if they are a good fit or not.  We don’t walk into a shoe store, gaze at the selection of footwear, choose a pair, pay for them and leave.  No, we try them on.  We walk around in them.  We check them out in the mirror.  We seek the opinion of our friends and/or the store clerk.  We might even try on a pair “just for fun” – a pair that really isn’t our style, but look interesting.  Why not take this same approach to deciding what you want in your life?

Choose Again

We need to realize that making choices is not something we do once.  Life is constantly changing and we are constantly growing and evolving.  We need to give ourselves the freedom to realize when a choice we made once-upon-a-time is no longer serving us.  This can lead to regret, shame and all sorts of guilt.  But none of those are productive and empowering reactions.  Instead – we need to reevaluate our situation, priorities and desires and simply choose again.  And again. And again.

After all, it’s your life!

And be sure to steer cleer of the dreaded “what if’s”