For instance – Mathieu.com has been my domain since 1995 (yep!), but I haven’t really used it for anything for a number of years. It’s now back to being my main site and has had a similar facelift. This is where people can get information about my speaking and coaching services as well as information about my books. (Yes, I said books – plural – see below!)

ChooseTheLifeYouWant.com has been redesigned as a straightforward blog.

And… I’ve dusted off PowerOfMortality.com. I’ve recently realized that I still have more work to do in the area of helping people with the concept of Mortality.

I’m also re-evaluating my plans for a follow-up book.  Read more about those plans.

Ultimately, I want to thank you for being part of this fun ride and for all of your feedback!  Please be sure to subscribe to this blog and to the Power of Mortality blog via the Subscribe links at the right of each website. That way, you’ll always be up to date.

And please – feel free to let me know what you’d like to see me talk about in these spaces!  You can do that my commenting below, or by contacting me directly.

Thanks!

Personally, I’m grateful for that degree of uncertainty in each day. Variety is the spice of life, and I think it would be incredibly boring if each and every day went exactly as you planned it.

And yet, many people seem surprised when life presents them with opportunities to improvise. They are so rigid in their thinking that they don’t know what to do, or how to react, when life doesn’t follow the script that they’ve written out in their own minds.
Do you want to know the secret? The secret to good improvisational skills is to listen and observe more than you speak and act.

Years ago I was in Toastmasters and won numerous awards for impromptu speaking. I was always amused when people would see me before a competition and ask if I was prepared. How on earth do you prepare to improvise? I would answer, “Yes, all day long I’ve abandoned my usual prepared statements. Instead, I’ve just been talking to people!”

Open your mind to the possibilities of improvisation as you make plans and think about your goals and dreams. In the Mortality Manifesto I wrote that you should : “…always strive to ensure that your every thought word and action is moving you in the direction of your dreams.” Notice that I use the word “direction”. As long as you are moving in the right direction, don’t let your plans suffocate spontaneity. Because in the end, some of our fondest memories will be of the wonderful impromptu detours that we have taken while on our journey.

Sure, there are the usual ceremonies that society dictates are standard practice (Christenings, Graduations, Weddings, Funerals, etc.)- but I’m more interested in the ceremonies that we create ourselves. The ceremonies we engineer in order to mark the beginning of a new chapter in our life. These may be very private ceremonies or they may be very public.

If you’ve read my book, you’re familiar with the private sunrise ceremony I held on the top of Mount Royal in Montréal on April 15, 1994. I took the photo above to mark that occasion. This was the day I accepted and embraced my mortality. It was my last day on earth – and my first day – all in one.

Well, it seems I’m not the only one who thinks the top of Mount Royal is an excellent place for ceremonies to mark epic beginnings!  Watch this video and then use the comment section below to tell me about any epic beginning you’re planning for your life and what sort of ceremony you’re planning to mark the occasion.

Yesterday, I read about the launch of Sir Richard Branson’s latest book “Screw Business As Usual“.

The title struck me immediately and sent my mind spinning a mile a minute.  It’s clear that “business as usual” doesn’t work. Just look at the economic woes in Europe and the US. Look back to 2008 at the collapse of so many financial institutions and large businesses in the US. It should be clear to everyone that if we are trying to bailout and restructure our business infrastructure with the intention of returning to “business as usual”, then we are dramatically illustrating the definition of insanity.

As I was thinking about all of this – it occurred to me that it is as though, in recent years, “business as usual” has been given an expiry date.  It has started to realize that it’s mortal and will not continue forever in its current form.  The meltdown of the financial and business worlds are very much like the stroke I had in 2006.  It’s a wake-up call.  An opportunity to start thinking about things differently, setting different priorities and making different choices.

Some might argue that this wake-up call is not new. It’s not something that been caused by the events of recent years – the business system has been sick for much longer than that.  Perhaps.  But what has caught my interest is that this particular rallying cry of “screw business as usual” isn’t coming from the tents of one of the “Occupy…” movements.  It’s not coming from a VW microbus with flowers painted on it. And it’s not coming from the downtrodden, disenfranchised masses.  It’s coming from Sir Richard Branson.

The beeeeellllionaire (said in my best Dr. Evil voice).

The man at the head of a global empire.

The man who owns a spaceship.

If Branson is calling for a business revolution, things are starting to get very interesting.

I train and certify people as life coaches and executive coaches and I’ve noticed that more and more “traditional” business people are seeking to add coaching skills to their skill set. They realize that you get much better results if you take the time to actually “coach” someone than if you simply “manage” them. There is a real shift happening in business (both the private sector and the public sector).

So all of this leads me to a question…

Do you think the business world is ready for the Mortality Manifesto?

I am hired to give keynote speeches for large organizations, but I have always regarded my message as something that is aimed primarily at individuals. One of my tag lines has been: “helping people live lives that are fearless, focused and free from regret”. But now Richard Branson has opened my mind up to the possibility that perhaps my work needs to extend more deeply into the corporate world. Perhaps there are organizations out there who are ready to heed the wake-up call that “business as usual” is dead, so it’s time to start thinking about how they can transform themselves into a new and powerfully empowering environment.

What are your thoughts? Do you think the business world is ready?

I’m not talking about a revolution or attack from external forces – I’m asking if the business world is ready for an evolution from within?

As I drove down the highway the other day, I couldn’t believe I was sharing the road with such terrible drivers. The traffic was moving along at about 120 KPH (75 MPH) yet here were some of the things I saw:

• Talking on cell phones (WITHOUT headsets!)
• Eating (and not just nibbling – I mean hamburgers)
• Very aggressive driving (like they were trying to protect their pole position in an F1 race)
• Heated arguments with someone in the passenger seat
• Putting on lipstick by looking in the rear-view mirror.
• ALL AT 75 MPH!

Crazy people!

I kept asking myself: “What are they thinking? Do they think they’re invincible? Or maybe they have a death-wish? What is it that would make someone drive like that?”

Many drivers have simply lost their respect for how powerful and dangerous automobiles can be.

Remember when you were first learning to drive? You’d finally get the car back home safely, only to realize you’d been holding your breath the entire time and your hands were welded to the steering wheel in the “10 and 2? position. Driving was new to you and you realized that those keys bring a great deal of responsibility.

But something happened, didn’t it?

Maybe it was the 100th time you returned home safely, maybe the 200th time, but somewhere along the way, you started taking it for granted that you were a “good driver” and little by little, your respect for the road and the machine began to wane. Clearly nothing bad was going to happen to you.

IF YOU’RE LUCKY – the wake-up call for you may come in the form of having your driver’s license suspended, or some other “warning”. If you’re not lucky, the consequences could be much more dire.

But that problem isn’t just limited to our experience with automobiles, is it?

When we’re first born we are given the “keys” to this fantastic body of ours. If you’ve ever watched a baby take its first steps, you’ll know that the look on the child’s face is even more intense than their expression when they pull Mom’s car out of the driveway for the first time.

When we are young we have a tremendous amount of respect for life and we live every second of it. Life is a series of awe-filled discoveries.

But something happens, doesn’t it?

Maybe it was the 2,000th time you woke up, maybe the 5,000th time, but somewhere along the way, you started taking it for granted that you were going to always wake up and little by little, your respect for the privilege of being alive began to wane. Clearly nothing bad was going to happen to you.

Well, I’m here today to tell you that I’m hereby SUSPENDING your license to live!

That’s right!

I’ll give it back to you if you PROMISE (not to me – to yourself!) that you’ll work to recapture that same awe and wonder for each new morning and will go to bed each night filled with gratitude.

Do you promise? Really? Good – now please sign this – your life depends on it!

No need to thank me – just doin’ my job!

Imagine having a passion for you partner that lasts for well over 60 years!  And imagine enjoying each other so much that your passion is contagious! You need to watch this…

The description says: “Fran & Marlo Cowan (married 62 years) playing impromptu recital together in the atrium of the Mayo Clinic.”

You can read about how the video happened on the Mayo Clinic’s website.

If you ever wonder why it is so important to Choose The Life You Want, just remember Fran and Marlo.  Here’s to having a lifelong passion!

- I entered my first public speaking contest when I was 12 or 13 years old. I was hooked!
- In high school and university I was a competitive debater.
- I’ve been the Master of Ceremonies at weddings and countless meeting, galas and events.
- I worked in sales for over a decade.
- I started speaking professionally in 2003.
- I produced a podcast for three years.
- I train and certify people as Life Coaches and Executive Coaches.

All of which to say that I am not a shy person. Whether I’m coaching someone one-on-one, leading a workshop or delivering a keynote presentation to 1,100 people – I’m in my element when I’m communicating.

Except for video.

And it’s been driving me crazy! I was really getting down on myself for my hesitancy to do videos. After all, this is the YouTube age – EVERYONE does videos. Videos are shared much more than blog posts.

So what was my problem? Why did I have a mental block about doing videos?

Well, today I discovered the answer. It’s because of a gap between what I want to do and what I can do. I learned this from watching this video (yes, I’m aware of the irony) from Ira Glass. In the first 60 seconds, he completely sums up why I am afraid to do videos. But he doesn’t stop there. He has a lesson that I believe applies to all of us. (More about that below the video.)

Did any of what Ira said hit the mark for you? We have high standards. We have good taste.  What we want to do and what we can do are separated by a gap. When we start out at something, we are not as good as we want to be. We don’t meet our own standards.

On one side of the gap is:
- the amount of money we want
- the car we’d like to drive
- the house we dream of
- the career that would fulfill us
- the ideal body weight or fitness level we desire
- the type of relationship we deserve

And on the other side of the gap is:
- the amount of money we actually have (or, more likely, the amount of debt we have)
- the car we are driving (or the bus we’re waiting for)
- the house or apartment we can afford
- the job we were “lucky to find” and we hope we can hang onto
- the fridge full of comfort food and a flat screen TV
- the relationship we’re settling for (or another lonely night)

Sometimes that gap seems so daunting that we don’t have the energy to think about making the leap. Yeah, sure there are night classes or correspondence classes we could take to bring up our skills and move us one step closer to that fulfilling career…. but we’re tired at the end of the work day. Besides, that new TV show is on in 30 minutes.

Sometimes what we want seems so out of reach that we get down on ourselves for even wanting it in the first place. Who are we to expect that level of happiness? We should just work harder at being happy with what we’ve got – after all, there are millions who have it worse!

And sometimes we may even go so far as to become judgemental about those who have the things that we want. Instead of looking at them as inspirational examples that the gap can be closed, we make ourselves feel better by talking about how shallow, materialistic, egotistical, self-centered and greedy “they” are.

For me, my reluctance to do videos was fuelled by a number of insecurities.
I was worried that I didn’t have the right video and audio equipment. I didn’t want my videos to look or sound cheap. I would tell myself: “I’m a professional. I need to project a professional image.” In time, I invested in better equipment. So with that obstacle removed, I jumped right into my first video, right? Wrong. I found another excuse.

I was worried about my own looks. “My skin is too blotchy right now. I’ll do it another day.” “I’m much too heavy now, I’ll do the videos when I’ve lost some weight.” And so on and so on. I used to joke with people that I did a podcast because I have a face that’s made for radio. Well, I guess that joke stuck and was haunting me. Some people hate the way their voice sounds when they hear it played back to them. For me it’s seeing myself on-screen.

Finally, at the end of August 2011, I decided to make a video message to send out as part of my Fearless, Focused Friday program. It literally took me a couple of hours to finally get my first video that was 2 minutes and 20 seconds long.

So what on earth will ever help us to close the gap between what we want to do and what we can do? In the video, Ira reassures us that we are not alone – the gap is perfectly normal. It applies to anyone doing any sort of creative work and most people go through it. Some people take longer than others, but it’s not unusual or unsurmountable. By way of a solution, he talks about the importance of constantly working at it. It’s only a matter of time and effort.

I agree with him – but I think there’s one more variable in the equation.

It’s our passion.

Our drive to live the best lives we possibly can.

That’s what will keep us going – keep us putting in the effort for as long as it takes. If we’re able to stay in touch with that passion, then we leave ourselves no choice but to keep at it. Don’t wait until everything is perfect.  WAITING DOES NOT MAKE THINGS PERFECT – it only robs you of the joy of self-development.  Richard Branson wrote a great little book called “Screw It! Let’s Do It!“. Embrace that philosophy!

And why not? We only get once chance at this. So why spend that one chance being on the wrong side of the gap and doing nothing about it? We are passionate about things because they’re important to us. Don’t let the world diminish that importance. Don’t let time dull the shine on the bright future you hold in your mind. You owe it to yourself to do everything you can to reach for those dreams.

I wrote the Mortality Manifesto as a tool to help fuel the fire that will keep us moving in the direction of our dreams. It’s designed to help us cut through the excuses and the insecurities that can hold us on the wrong side of the gap. The ideals behind the Mortality Manifesto are what I tapped into in order to help me get my first video done. And they are what fuelled me to do the second and third ones. And now I’m starting to relax and have some fun with them. (Subscribe to my YouTube channel and watch me get better and better!)

Get in touch with your passion. Use the Mortality Manifesto to remind yourself that you only get one life, and it’s happening right now. When you are moving in the direction of your dreams, you’re closing the gap!

My passion will keep me making videos no matter how blotchy I think my skin is today. My passion for sharing my message outweighs my insecurity about whether or not I’m “in shape” for the camera. After all – my videos (just like my blog, my newsletter, my podcasts, my workshops. my books and my keynotes) are not about me. They’re about YOU!

I’ll race you to the other side of the gap!

Patrick and I were in Montréal this past weekend, and while Patrick worked on Saturday, I spent a couple of hours knitting and chatting at a great little yarn store called Espace Tricot.  One of the owners, a lovely woman named Lisa, was just getting over a cold.  It must have been a bad one, because virtually every ‘regular’ who came in (and there were lots) asked her how she was doing, and what she was doing back at work.  It was obvious that during the few days she’d had to stay home she was sorely missed by her loyal customers.

Lisa said she was feeling much improved, though she was still a bit stuffed up and had a little cough.  Then she talked about how her two days off were actually like a little mini-retreat, despite being ill.  She said she stayed in her bed for a full 24 hours, while her partner took over and did everything.  She was able to sleep, play on her iPad, eat now and then, read, and most importantly knit, knit, knit, which is plainly her favourite indulgence.  She was ensconced in her ‘favourite things.”  I had to admit that over-hearing this, it did sound lovely (if you ignore the having-a-cold part).

When life is stressful, or when we’re run down, it can be the little things others do for us that leave a lasting impression of how much they care for us: the friend that calls to see how we’re doing, the partner who brings hot water with lemon and honey, the relative who stops by with homemade soup.  When we’re ill, our bodies force us to treat ourselves more gently, and to slow down.  We allow ourselves to indulge in life’s more soothing pursuits: napping often, staying in our pyjamas, eating comfort foods.  Maybe we even get to finally finish a couple of good books that have been waiting on the bedside table for months.

If this idea of taking care of oneself is so appealing, why do we wait until we’re sick to do it?  What if we occasionally scheduled time to be extra-good to ourselves?  You deserve to be spoiled, to be treated with extra-special care, and to have a day (or maybe two) of doing what feels the most comfortable to you.

I know, I know, you’re too busy/important/have too many commitments to just take a time-out from life.  Fine, take as little or as much time as you can manage, but do it ASAP, and AOAP (as often as possible).  Even little injections of self-care in the middle of an otherwise busy day can make an enormous difference in your overall stress level, and will leave you happier and healthier.

If you feel grateful when someone else is taking care of you, imagine how good it might feel to know YOU valued yourself enough to treat yourself that well, for no good reason except that you’re worth it.  And you never know, maybe you’ll end up with fewer ‘sick’ days in the long run.

P.S.  If you’re having any trouble imagining how you’d fill such a ‘comfort’ day, start by dreaming it.  Make a list of all your favourite feel-good things, and then go through that list to see which ones you could incorporate into your day today.

I’d love to see what your ideal comfort day looks like; please reply with your ideas!  Even better, come back and tell me how you’ve been able to fit your comforts into your day, and what kind of difference it made for you!