From Choose To Create

People often ask me how to move out of the “Choose” phase and into the “Create” phase.

Where do you start?

When do you start?

How do you start?

The Hair Club For Men!

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My friend Mike Dooley answered that question very nicely today!  I met Mike back in 2004.  In 2005 he wrote an outstanding testimonial for my book, which I was proud to feature prominently on the back cover.

If you don’t know Mike, he is the author of a free daily email service called “Notes From The Universe“.  In a nutshell, once you sign up, you get a quick, often funny, always thought-provoking, personalized email from “The Universe” 5 days per week. And these are some powerful emails! (If you don’t already get them…sign up now!)

He started sending them to 38 people in 1998 and now has over 300,000 subscribers in 189 countries! Oh, and he was also featured in The Secret. See where being friends with me can get you? (Take a moment, right now and add me as a friend on Facebook and/or follow me on Twitter.)

Anyhow – back to my point.  Here’s what Mike wrote in today’s “Note from the Universe”:

Patrick, I love this job! You know, writing you every day.
Do you know how I got it?
No, besides being the Universe and getting whatever I want.
Yes! I just started doing it.
And that’s all anything takes.

The Universe

PS: Of course it’ll feel funny at first, Patrick, might even look funny, but how badly do you want what you want?

And there you have it my friends!  The recipe for moving from “Choose” to “Create”.  I couldn’t have said it better myself. Thanks Mike!

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Your Advisory Board

photo by robpurdie

photo by robpurdie

As you begin to create the life you want, you will be faced with many options and many different choices.  My advice? Don’t try to do it alone.  I suggest that you build a team of trusted advisors to help keep you sane, motivated and on track. I called on some members of my advisory board just last night!

Sometimes checking in with your advisors can be as simple as a quick email or phone call.  Other times it will be a conversation over lunch or dinner.  And then there will be the times that call for a full-blown retreat where you lock yourselves away from the world and brainstorm, scheme and plan into the wee hours of the morning.

Here are the people that you’ll want on your team:

A Cheerleader
Someone who really “gets” what you’re trying to create for your life and is 100% in your corner.  We all need people like this in our lives. However, you can’t have a whole team of cheerleaders.  That’s why you also need…

A Scientist
Someone who is grounded in logic and linear thinking.  This person will help you see potential pitfalls that you may not see because of your enthusiasm.  If you have any Vulcan friends, this is the role for them.  The scientist will help you to properly design and engineer the box for your new life.  Of course, once you have that, you’ll need help thinking outside of the box. Which is why you need…

An Artist
Someone with creativity and flair to spare!  Perhaps they are unconventional and can propose solutions and suggestions that NEVER would have occurred to you.  It can be really helpful to have someone with “off the wall” thinking involved in a brainstorming session. They will challenge you to open yourself to new concepts and approaches.

And finally, you most certainly want a…

Coach
Someone who can help you see the “big picture” again after you’ve been staring at the details for too long.  This could be an actual life coach / business coach, or just someone who is good at presenting you with new possibilities and keeping you focused on your goals.  This is the person who will help you spend more time on the solutions and less time on the problems.

The exact make-up of your team will depend on your personality.  Which one of those personality-types are you?  If you’re a “scientist” then you probably don’t need another scientist.

Another suggestion is that you don’t involve these people in every single detail of your new life creation.  If you do, then they run the risk of getting too close to the topic and losing their objectivity.

It’s also beneficial, from a purely tactical point of view, to have a team of specialists in your Rolodex.  People with specific specialties that relate to your goals and dreams.  For instance:
- Accountant
- Bookkeeper
- Lawyer
- Web expert
- Graphic designer
- Printer
- Caterer
- Florist
etc…

A Word About Your Friends…
While you friends are all great people, they may not necessarily be the right people to fill slots on your Advisory Board.  You need to be honest with yourself and ask yourself how many of them are strictly cheerleaders?  Or perhaps you have friends who actually throw cold water on your dreams?  If so, then keep them as friends (if you value the friendship), but don’t necessarily involve them in deep discussions about the new life you’re creating.

Now go assemble your team and convene the first board meeting!

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Embrace Your Life

The first step in choosing the life you want is to begin by embracing your life.  Now I’m not talking about embracing your current circumstances.  After all, if you were completely satisfied with your current circumstances, you probably wouldn’t be visiting a site called Choose The Life You Want.

No, I’m talking about something much more fundamental.  I’m talking about embracing the very fact that you’re alive at all!  Stop and ask yourself:

Why did I get up today?  Why was I granted another day of life on this earth?”

When you get right down to it, there’s no good reason that any of us woke up this morning.  Statistically speaking, we all have a certain life expectancy, but unless you are a professional actuary, I would strongly advise you to put zero faith in those numbers.  We’re not talking about statistics – we’re talking about your life!

In my experience, the best way to truly value and appreciate your life is to acknowledge the fact that it will come to an end one day.  I know what my “expiry date” is… do you know yours?  That was the main theme of my first book: What’s Your Expiry Date? Embrace Your Mortality – Live WIth Vitality.  Once you come face to face with your mortality, you can truly choose the life you want to live.

Now for most people, the idea of coming face to face with your own mortality is the second most frightening thing in the world (the first is public speaking).  But that’s because those people imagine facing their mortality on death’s terms.  You know, the doctor puts your x-ray up on the screen and then closes the door before starting to talk to you – or a cement truck drifts across the centre line of the highway and heads directly for you – or you feel a strange lump one day during your morning shower.  All of those scenarios are terrifying for two reasons:

1. You are virtually powerless.  You have very limited options and it looks like a good deal of the outcome hinges on “luck” (or “fate” or “karma”, depending on your beliefs).

2. You weren’t expecting this.  Intellectually, you know that you are a mortal and that your life will not go on forever.  However, most of us seem to think that somehow we’ll be given some sort of “early warning” that will give us enough time to process the fact of our mortality and to respond accordingly.  A cement truck coming straight for you doesn’t provide that sort of luxury.

I advocate that each of us voluntarily face our own mortality as early as possible.  This puts the power in our hands.  Over the years, I’ve written extensively about The Power of Mortality™.  This is the power that comes from not just facing your mortality, but actually embracing it!

So then, the best way to choose the life you want is to start by embracing your life and the best way to embrace your life is to embrace your mortality.  How eactly does one get started with this?  That’s why I wrote the Mortality Manifesto!

The Mortality Manifesto is a daily tool to help you get in touch with the very essence of your life.  Get your own copy at http://www.MortalityManifesto.com.


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Stretching Your Limits

Once you’ve made a conscious decision about something you want in your life, the real fun begins!

photo by englishpianobloke

photo by englishpianobloke

As you begin to move from the more passive, reflective phase of Choosing to the more active phase of Creating you will very quickly find that you need to stretch your limits.  After all, you have chosen to live a life that is bigger than it was before, so it’s only natural that you will need to make room for the new you!

When I first tried yoga, I started with a “Yin class” which is focused more on increasing flexibility than on strength or balance.  I was amazed at how stiff I was and at how tight many of my joints were.

You’ll probably notice something similar when you begin to create your new life.  You’ll notice how comfortable you’ve become with your old patterns, old thinking and old habits.  You’ll also notice how difficult it can be to stretch beyond those old limitations.

And this is where the secret comes in!

In the yoga studio, the instructor advised me to do my best to get the most out of each new stretch.  When it felt like I was at the limit, I was to hold it there and just “breathe into it”.  At first, that sounded like new age silliness.  What the heck does “breathe into it” mean?

But as I focused on my breath I began to notice that each stretch was gently increasing.  Soon, things began to shift and move and what seemed impossible just a few moments before was now within my reach.

It’s the same when you begin to take action towards your new life.  The key is to let go of thoughts like:

  • “This is so far out of my comfort zone!”
  • “I wonder if I’m doing it right?”
  • “When will I start to be comfortable with this?”

and the many others that will pop up for you as you begin to step into action.  Simply stay focused on the present moment.  After all, as I wrote in the Mortality Manifesto: fear is based on an imagined future, therefore focusing on the present makes us fearless!

Before you know it – your limits will have expanded and your life experiences will certainly follow suit!

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